It took me a long time to learn that after work, I need to soften and drop the mask that works so well. Before seeing my fiancé, I try to calm my type-A, go-getter side.
Common workplace practices include issuing directives, taking control, and ensuring that all tasks are completed. Who thought it would be so dreadful to try this at home?
Put the obvious time demands of a successful profession aside as a variable, and concentrate on the attitude that they have in their personal life.
When you compare the two, it becomes obvious that the same traits that are beneficial at work — leading, being the boss, setting clear expectations, and generally running things — tend to be less effective at home.
Being bosses is honored. This benefits the office. Problem is, what works at home—cooperation, compromise, getting help, and picking battles—isn't valued at work.
They are constantly making statements such as, "Well, I told my partner what I wanted and what needs to be done, and they still don't come through for me."
Either "I just don't have enough help" or "I feel like I have to do everything or it won't get done." Both of these statements are true.
I'm automatically suspicious of these statements. I start to wonder if it's true that nothing gets done and the partner isn't trying to help somehow.
Does nothing that needs to get done get done? Or was it done but not exactly the way that person wanted?
Is micromanagement creating a feedback loop in which there is nagging, the other person withdraws, there is more nagging, and assistance is given but rejected because it is not up to standard?