Multiple Blue Rings

Relationship-Destroying Insecurities

Lined Circle
Multiple Blue Rings

Both men and women have insecurities, but dating highlights some key variations. From the hundreds of people I've counseled, I've found gender insecurities.

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Multiple Blue Rings

Am I successful enough? Men have this dating insecurity because they are taught from an early age that a "real man" has a good job and provides financially.

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Multiple Blue Rings

As a result of this, many of the men who work in my workplace have confided in me about the anxiety they experience whenever women inquire about their line of work.

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Multiple Blue Rings

Specifically, I have worked with many men who felt embarrassed to pick up their date in an old or economy car or to be financially restricted to take their dates to inexpensive restaurants.

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Multiple Blue Rings

Am I thin enough? While men's body issues tend to revolve around wanting to be formidable and muscular, women's body insecurities skew in the opposite direction.

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Women criticize their looks more than men. I often tweet about how the media criticizes female celebs' weight while men in the same field get a pass.

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Am I interesting enough? The annoying popularity race from junior high to college causes this insecurity. Popular movies—especially romance comedies—make things worse.

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Somewhere along the way, we all got the sense that every sentence we utter in a dating interaction is supposed to be witty and clever, interesting and funny.

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Multiple Blue Rings

Men and women share this insecurity equally, especially those who don't have tons of hobbies or extracurricular activities which theoretically make a person seem more dynamic.

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